Having a crush

Falling in love pretty much sucks in my case, because every time it happens, I'm always alone in the crush, the person never picks me, or just want me as a friend. And it hurts, not like breaking my heart big time hurt, but hurts to know I'm not good enough to make this person happy, as the person makes me feel. It's sad because in this time of your life you want to find someone who loves you. You see all these happy couples everywhere, and you just look at them like "please go away, I don't want to see your happiness, cause I want it too, and it never really happens.." So yeh, just taking one day at a time, trying not to think about it much. Leaving it alone, seeing what happens. Words can be one thing to say, but to show what you say is a totally different thing. Sry I'm in a bit sad mood, it was just at this party so much stuff was said to me, and caught we off guard, and it totally ruined the hole party for me. And I ended up being really sad because all of these things that was said, and since that party I've been going in circles in my mind about it.. Being pretty sad.  So now I've told myself to leave the person alone, see if it the person even wants to see me or not. I'm not trying anymore, been trying a lot, and I can't use my energy on being disappointing every time I get left behind. I'm done. If you really want to see me, be my friend, show it, make time to see me. Right now time is all I have, not doing anything until the 28th of September. So show it to me, don't just use words, it doesn't work that way, I feel left behind.
Thinking about all the things we said, all the things we planned, seeing it all fall apart, not happening, it makes me sad, it makes me wonder how much of it was true, and how much was real...

So now I'm gonna leave my blog alone (again) and try to write when I have something new (like when I start in school or something, so yeh, if you still follow this blog, my dear I'm proud of you, and I like you for still following my life<3)